Monday, January 31, 2005 . 1/31/2005

Haha, I knew it. That horse we wer going to see is gone now. We didn't even get to go see it since that fucking lady wasn't home and never called. Stupid fucker.

I wanted a big black horse anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but still, the nerve of her stupid ass.. 4 Comments - Post/view comments Stephen King's Carrie was on lastnight, and I loved it. I want to get the book.. Carrie reminds me a lot of how I used to be - how I am. It got me thinking of a long time ago, when I was little, just having fun at grandma's house, etc.

Stephen King's The Silver Bullet was on after, and I only got to see a little of it until my dad said he was tired, and I decided to go to bed to. The movie was pretty good. This movie, and Carrie, will most likely be on again today, or some other time close, so I can watch it again. I aim to see all Stephen King movies, as well as read all of his books.

I got to stay home today. My mom said I could use a little break from school, even though 2 weeks from now I'll get a week or maybe two off. I'm the one who asked if I could get a one day break from school mhm.

Oh and Sweetedly, sorry I left so suddenly on MSN... I got so excited about The Omen being on I forgot to say I was leaving o.o lolss 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Sunday, January 30, 2005 . 1/30/2005

Discusting "gothy" people. I've typed this many times, and I will type it again, because that's what's on my mind. Don't be a poser. Don't be someone you are not. Don't pretend to be "evil". If you pretend, that's stupidity. And of course, no "evil" can be stupid. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I've watched The Omen 1 and 2, but the third is boring. It'll probably get better at the end, but I don't have the patience to sit and watch it, especially when they made Damien look rather.. ugly. Why couldn't they just wait to that original Damien kid got older, or find a better person?

Anyway, I am really irritated right now. We might be going out to eat, but I don't really want to. There's nothing else to do though. Why is life so pointless? What a huge mistake it was to create man, or life as a whole. 0 Comments - Post/view comments We might be going to see that horse today. I hope we will, because I really would like to have another horse, and one that isn't that lazy besides...

I got told that this is a white horse, but of course, I would prefer a black one, like a huge black fresian. But as long as her temper is good, it should be all right. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Friday, January 28, 2005 . 1/28/2005

On the Stephen King official site, it says The Eyes of the Dragon is in production, meaning it will be a movie, and I got all excited until I read the word "animatetd". Maybe they'll make one that isn't animated after. I'd really like to see who would play Flagg and what he'll look like. I'd like to see him somewhere other than my imagination. 2 Comments - Post/view comments I can't wait until Boogeyman comes out in theaters, because when it does, I'm going to see it.

I have read true stories about ghosts and demon encounters, etc, yet haven't had an experience recently. There was a time a ling time ago where I was in the movie theater watching Christmas Vacation. It came out the year I was born, or a bit later, and so I couldn't have been born yet. Also, around 3 or 4, I woke up sometime in the early morning to find a black thing laying on the floor, somewhat in the shape of a human or ant. Later it wasn't there anymore and I asked my mom if she picked up any clothes on the floor, and the answer was a no. Also around the age 3 or 4, I was on my bed and my mom was dressing me. My blanket was behind me and when I turned around, it wasn't there anymore. About a year later it was found in a closet inside a large book.

Now I am ready for more strange things to happen to me. Maybe a hooded being appearing in my room. I'd be scared at first, I know, but if I would gather myself, I would get on my knees and bow to it, for anything that took its time to visit my room would deserve this.

I've been feeling rather mad and irritated lately, not that it's anything unusual. Sometimes I feel as if I could send things flying across the room with my anger, but it just doesn't happen.

Sometimes when I'm angry, when I'm in bed and going to sleep, I like to think about me being in this cult, making sacrifices, and I'm helping these other hooded and cloaked beings skin a person alive. It makes me smile, but I wish I could have the satisfaction of doing this in real life, and also the satisfaction of encountering a sexy hooded being or person.

There is just so much that I want but only exists in my head. Maybe someday, it'll all come to this world. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 . 1/26/2005

Stephen King's Rose Red was not bad at all, and Riding the Bullet was on again lastnight.
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005 . 1/25/2005

From Parnormal Phenomena (link at top)


Your True Tales
January 2005 – Page 25

Laughing Hooded Being
by Xavier

Somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m. during the summer of 1984 in deep south Texas, I was returning a friend to his house after playing some late night video games. While driving down the feeder road, my friend and I saw a figure completely covered in black with a hood. Nothing could be seen of a face, hands, etc. As we passed by, it pointed at us and followed us with his hand. It was about two feet from the side of the road.

My first reaction was that someone was hurt and needed help, so I turned around and headed back toward it. My friend was already spooked. I rolled down the window and it kept on pointing at us and was laughing. My friend kept repeating, "Let's get out of here." I just wanted to know what was going on. He then told me to look at how it was standing – at about a 45-degree angle out toward the road, but not holding itself up with anything. I turned around again and headed north again to drop off my friend. As we passed it, it just kept on laughing and point at us.

It took me about 20 minutes to get him home and back to the same point. It was still there. I still wanted to know what it was and what was going on. It just kept on pointing and laughing while standing at this 45-degree angle. I would pass it and turn around to get a good look at it. I must have done this a good five times total. As I approached it the last time, it literally disappeared in front of me. I freaked thinking that it was going to appear in my back seat and I floored it back home.

-------
Sexy. I swear, if a hooded and cloaked thing just appeared in my room one night, I'd get on my knees and bow to it.


0 Comments - Post/view comments Stephen King's Rose Red is on now, and won't be over until 6 (its started around 12). My dad has seen it before and he says it isn't all that great. He's not even watching it, and it feels weird watching a movie when it's still light out. I might watch the rest of it if I get bored. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Monday, January 24, 2005 . 1/24/2005

I'm all sad now... I want to watch a Stephen King movie so bad. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I've watched the Stephen King movies lastnight, and I loved them a lot. Riding the Bullet was really nice, and near the end where that dead guy is in the car and tells off that one dude for him really not liking death and thinking its so great.. He spoke my mind. It's like "gothic" posers these days. They pretend they are so evil and aren't afraid of anything, when they are. And if they saw a dead body, they'd freak. And I mean a body in person, not in a pic or tv. And that hooded and cloaked guy at the beggining... Man, he was sexy.

I've found my two new class rooms today alright. Now I'm not so nervous about going to them.

AND ALSO... The place where we used to board Cal, our horse (who is now dead.. he was around 30 when we got him, and the people selling them to us lied he was around 19 or so.. he died at around age 35), is home to one of my mom's friends, and she knows this lady giving away a 3 year old white filly for free. My mom says she's thinking about it, and she doesn't want to commit to another thing that could die before she does... It's either a horse or a snake.. MAYBE I CAN HAVE BOTH O.O 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Sunday, January 23, 2005 . 1/23/2005

I hope tomorrow is a snowday mhm... I have a few new classes now and I am nervous that I might get lost finding the rooms.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Saturday, January 22, 2005 . 1/22/2005

SWEETEDLY WHERE ARE YOUUU 2 Comments - Post/view comments I watched Stephen King's It today.. I have to admit that that was the first movie that ever really scared me. I can't wait until his movie Riding the Bullet is on tomorrow (USA channel at 8 pm) and Storm of the Century (same channel, 2 pm).

My computer got reformatted again, and I have made a new furc character, which I am going to stick with now: Sp0ttedly.

In the bathroom is this air freshener thing from AirWick or something that smells like the orthodontist. It makes me feel weird.. almost scared, somehow.

Also today, I had this little "facial" with my mom. A day or two ago I had this pimple on my nose and near the middle of my eyebrows.. I managed to scrape them off, and then after I had a shower my mom put this face stuff on. It felt really clean afterwards. And The Omen was on again today, like at around, say, 11? I need to watch the 2nd Omen now, and the third. There is a third, right? That's why it's a TRIlogy.

It snowed quite a lot today. Maybe if I'm lucky, Monday shall be a snowday. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Friday, January 21, 2005 . 1/21/2005

NO SCHOOL TODAY AND... THE OMEN SHALL BE ON TONIGHT AT 8 WO0O0O0O 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 . 1/19/2005

I feel really, really depressed. And ignored. I ask my parents things and they seem to ignore me, or go "WHAT?". And Boses. We got along so well until one day he decided to ignore me. He's the second person I ever really got along with, on furc or in real life. Please stop making me so sad. 2 Comments - Post/view comments Another quiz, because I'm bored.


You are a violin. You are very held back and
quiet. You do what you want and that usually
means something quiet like reading or writing.
You are calm and perhaps considered dark to
some. But you rarly talk to anyone besides
your close friend or family.


(BEAUTIFUL anime pics) What is your soft toned intrument?
brought to you by Quizilla
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In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything
because your eyes are covered up by tears! You
are constantly hurt and depressed... No one
seems to understand how you feel because
everyone is scared to get close to you... You
long to be able to reach out and tell someone
everything, and all of your problems... But you
have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to
want to hear what you have to say. You've been
hurt many times that you don't seem to have any
tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an
endless river flowing... You've started to hide
and bottle up all or your problems and
feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go
away... You want company, but at the same time,
you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your
room where you can just be alone and try to
throw away all of your aching pains. You're
dark and mysterious and people like you for
that reason. Even if you think you're all by
yourself in the dark, someone is always there
with you. Your special someone wants to admit
and show their feelings towards you, but
they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out
more and enjoy life because, it is far too long
to frown your way through :)


What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics)
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Monday, January 17, 2005 . 1/17/2005

What's up with smoking? It's gross, makes you smell bad, and most likely also makes you feel bad, and makes you look like trailer trash with no life. It's killing yourself. Not like I have anything against that. It's just a really sad, pathetic way to kill yourself. Slowly. Until your lungs rot.

Stupid idiot "goffic posers" always seem to act depressed. "IM GONNA CUT MY WRISTS NOW AND KILL MYSELF". Also pathetic. If you're going to kill yourself, make it interesting. Like hang or behead yourself.

People who think they are so fucking "evil" and "mean" also piss me off. "O I AM GONNA GET U AND KILL U O0O0O0O0O". They sound like idiots. And also, most don't even know what Satanism and the like REALLY is. Try looking it up on Google or something. It's not "evil" but common sense.

Off topic. I went to Borders today, and all the things interesting to me there are already in the books I already have in some way or another. Why do people continueouly put the same things in books (i.e crytozoology, ghosts) over and over, when there are already others like it? 0 Comments - Post/view comments My mom just went to a job interview. Heh.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Okay, this is pretty weird. I was supposed to go to the psychiatrist today, somewhere around this time, but my mom isn't home. Did she go by herself? Or is part of me there with her? o.o 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Sunday, January 16, 2005 . 1/16/2005

Hey, guess what. Furc is getting more and more lame. For one thing, Boses is fucking ignoring me. I come on today and I know he was in the middle of a conversation, and he just pops. Moron. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Shadowfear is now my main char on furc. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
You are a winter. I'm staying out of your way!!!!
You are crabby and well just bitchy most of the
time. You have your good moments but not too
many. You are cold towards most people(hense
the season winter) in other words you are not
social too much. You have a few privlaged
friends. But there aren't too many. Over all
many people more than likely don't like you for
your sassy attitude.


What Season Best Fits You? (anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
0 Comments - Post/view comments I've created a good alt; Shadowfear, the name of my main char on Morrowind. Later when I can create more, I shall try out others. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Saturday, January 15, 2005 . 1/15/2005

Oh yay, ANOTHER 'DARK' RESULT'


Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)


What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say? (With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
0 Comments - Post/view comments Oh yay, ANOTHER 'DARK' RESULT' 0 Comments - Post/view comments I hate MSN. It's just really irritating. The stupid thing always blinks whenever you get a new message, until you go the that window. And everytime my computer starts up, MSN always signs me in. I must tell you that I'm just getting real sick of it, and will rarely go on now.

I will never understand people who just LOVE Msn. It's ridiculous. 1 Comments - Post/view comments

Friday, January 14, 2005 . 1/14/2005

NO SCHOOL ON MONDAY!!! OR NEXT FRIDAY. AND HALF DAYS WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY. But. Final exams are next week, those three days that there is school. Oh well.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Thursday, January 13, 2005 . 1/13/2005

Let me introduce you to my thinking process.

Murders happen all the time, right? Well, what's so fucking bad about it? The person doing the murdering is doing a huge favor by killing, as this life is a waste of time, and is pointless, as everyone I hope, knows. But, if the murderer is put into a jail cell for the rest of his life, that won't do much. One, it takes up space, and two, this will make the murder more pissed. So, if they were given a death penalty, like a beheading, it would be better, and also, it would reward them, for they will get removed from this life too. It's like doing people a favor, killing. See what I'm saying?

And hanging heads and dead bodies around places would warn those who are afraid to die, so they woudn't do a crime, like stealing for example.

Also, what's so good about this 'god'? It's just not in a person's true nature to go through life like a Barney episode. It just makes more sense the other way around. It's just way too hard for me to explain on how I feel about this. It really is. Jesus was probably indeed an actual person who SEEMED to do great deeds and had messangers at his side. Angels are what 'messenger' means in a certain language; I forgot which. And people probably later looked at this Jesus as a 'god' and worshipped him. And he died and one of his messengers, Lucifer, betrayed him, for reasons I can completely agree with, and so god just bannished him to a place actually better than heaven.

If people keep being all happy and continue breeding, this world will evantually be a huge trash pit. Full of houses, roads, pollution. And if this 'god' didn't want his world to suffer, he wouldn't let it, would he? He is a fraud. And if indeed he did 'create', then people are the worst possible mistake you ever could make. Did he create people to become his allies against Lucifer? IS HE THAT WEAK? IF HE IS GOD THE ALMIGHTY, WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS 'MIGHT'? WOULDN'T LUCIFER BE DESTROYED BY NOW?

As I said before, this is all very hard for me to explain how I feel. But let me just sum it up: Do we want to live in a world so bright it blinds us? 0 Comments - Post/view comments Hey, guess what, I got banned from furc. The whisper I got only said for a day, but you know what? They lied. And to those people request I get booted/banned, I still hold on to what I say. [most] black people are stupid. Or act hyper. Which makes them look stupid. And if that was you who got me banned, I hate your stupid little asses even more now. And if it was Sunspirit's doing, well, I've always hated her so much I could just stab her right at any moment. Fuckers. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 . 1/12/2005

I'm at school right now and am supposed to be reasearching something for science.. Anyway, I'm bored so I have been looking at paranormal.about.com, and I have found this. Why are people so freaked out about Satanism? because it's different or being misled that it's SO EBIL? I just don't get it. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 . 1/11/2005

SNOW DAY TODAY!!!! And I sent my picture to HOF, I am so brave :)) 2 Comments - Post/view comments

Sunday, January 09, 2005 . 1/09/2005

A few minutes ago I had this dream where I was in my parents' room, it was daytime, and it had the old blue carpet it used to have instead of the hardwood floor it has now. There was this box or chest placed between the dresser and the corner of the room, and there were these small statues, two of them I think, of what my dream insisted on "demons", and so it was dubbed the demon box. I moved the dresser and whatever was in the small lidless chest's way, looked in it, and found a small statue-type thing of a demon's face, that babalonian dragon seen on that one wall, a bunch of old letters, two old candycanes, accompanied by a bit of other old candy, beads, and other whatnot. I moved the demon box to the middle of the room and now there were moving boxes in them, along with books; I'm not sure if the small statues were still there. Then, one of the boxes inside moved. Actually, it jumped, and the second one followed suit. I figured it was a ghost, and I got all weird, even screamed really loud, then I aked if it wanted its demon box to go back in the corner I have found it, and for "yes" make the 2 boxes jump twice. It did that, so I placed the demon box back, looked at it, and all the original stuff that was in there before was in there now, and I started to hear odd voices, and once even my name. I rushed to put the dresser and things back where they were, so now the box was where it was supposed to be. I fell asleep on my parents' bed and when I woke up, it was still daytime I believe, in the afternoon, and I found my mom had cleaned and that she moved the demon box somewhere else. A vase of small sunflowers were in the box's place. I asked my mom where she put the demon box, and she said in my room, and when I got there she obviously hasn't cleaned my room. I asked where excactly it was, in a rude way I guess, because she said something to me with "forget it" in it, and started walking down the hall. I called her a mother-fucker just as she was saying "alright, I'll help you". And that was the end.

I also dreamt of this tomb-like tavern thing, and it had two entrances, one to a bar and one to this tavern or something of the like. I left and there were some other people coming in to go in the tavern part.

I have 2 dream interpretation books and have looked in them on the dream of the "demon box", and haven't really found anything that goes with my dream. Not even ghostly activity. However, it did say something about a desire to make contact to the world beyond, and I can agree on this.

Maybe someone reading this is a dream interpreter? 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Saturday, January 08, 2005 . 1/08/2005

Sauron from LOTR is hot. I wish he was a real person. I could be his priestess. Mmm.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Friday, January 07, 2005 . 1/07/2005

Okay, this has been bugging me for a few days. I should probably type this down somewhere, so here it goes:

I must admit, I have never had an actual boyfriend in my life. And it's not because I'm ugly, because believe me, I'm far from it on most days. It's just the fact that I am SO QUIET at school. I practilally have no friends at school because of this. There are of course I gues a couple exceptions, but other than that..

I am very depressed about this. Why do I have to have social anxiety? A guy that I looked ok sat next to me for quite a while; we knew eachother since last year, but I am too quite I guess. And one other winked at me, but I am not used to this so I must of made a face, one that must of said "you're ugly", which I didn't intent to do.

Those are just one of my strongest thoughts today, I guess. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 . 1/05/2005

I don't know why, but I have been positive pretty much all day. It's probably the fact that I am 99% sure that there will be no school tomorrow, or my mom will just let me stay home, because of all the snow. There's already quite a lot now, and we're supposed to get even more :))) 3 Comments - Post/view comments

Monday, January 03, 2005 . 1/03/2005

There was school today. It was horrible. I noticed every time I go to school the more I get pissed easily. Great. 0 Comments - Post/view comments