Friday, February 25, 2005 . 2/25/2005

This is ridiculous. My parents don't want me watching The Exorcist: The Beginning because they say it is "too Satanish". This is exactly the kind of movie that I'd like to see, and they won't let me, just because they believe something different than I do. That's a little harsh. 0 Comments - Post/view comments We had a peprally today at school (neither of my parents could pick me up early so I had to go). It just reminded me how friendless I am. All but a few friends I know are on the internet, and the ones in real life I hardly hear from anymore. I just have a feeling that I am not SUPPOSED to be this quiet, this "shy", that I am not supposed to have this social anxiety. I feel as if I should be in with the funny popular kids, have a boyfriend, etc, but I don't have any of those things. It was so much easier to talk to people when I was younger, like say 1st grade through 3rd. Up until then I moved to a different school and have been to about 3 others since then. 4th grade is when social anxiety started. It is terrible. I shouldn't be this way! I am talkative everywhere but school! It just isn't right.. And people think I will grow up to be this killer or something, because "you know what they say, the quiet ones are the dangerous ones". Of course, I have no objection to that. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Thursday, February 24, 2005 . 2/24/2005

Me and my parents had to go to this meeting with my teachers (about 3 showed up) including the counselor, because I was being inconsistant with my homework and crap. That embarrased me so much.. not really embarrased, but it was just weird.. my face got a bit red and I HATE that.. I'd rather it go pale. That was one of the most uncomfortable situations in my life, I swear.. 2 Comments - Post/view comments

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 . 2/22/2005

I've just seen Consteteen or however you spell it.. half of it anyway (we have many illegal DVDs!). It is stupid. Those people pretty much don't know squat about demons. It was just really dumb.. I don't know. I guess that's just all I can say. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I was thinking of creating a DeviantArt account. I know I have made one before, with only one picture on it: a very early picture of a dragon. But I think I'd like to start anew, one with great drawings and stuff in it, as my talent has grown. I should have scanned and created this account by next week or so, so look for the link soon, both in my Furc desc and here. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Today in Forces, my bitchy teacher told me I haven't turned in my homework today when it fact I HANDED IT RIGHT INTO HER FUCKING HANDS. I said I turned it in and she said "but you didn't do it", when infact I have only skipped a few questions. And then I said "yes I did", be she changed the story and went "I know you did but you didn't finish it", and then I said "but I did most of the questions", and then she said "You did but you didn't". Now does that effing make sense? She gets on my case for one stupid problem I didn't do. What an idiot.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I have to type down. I was in this small townish place, there was snow on the ground, and I was going to a theater and these people said they'd meet me there. It was supposed to be a Harry Potter movie or something; the latest one to come out, and the whole cast was supposed to be in the back making sound adjustments or whatever. So for some reason, no one was there, when earlier in the dream there were tons of people and I was practally "floating" or gliding down the isles to get a seat. So anyway, somehow I knew Alan Rickman (aka the guy who plays Snape) was to be sitting near the end of their table, so I wanted to sit near there, but there was no one in the theater, so I walked out, and just then he entered, and he said something about being there earlier or whatever. The other part of my dream, which I think came before the whole Harry Potter part, had to do with water and giraffes.. it was weird. I was swimming, like in an online game only actually just there in the world, and this herd of giraffes was there.. it was weird. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Monday, February 21, 2005 . 2/21/2005

I watched Saw a second time, and as it will always remain, I still love it.

I had to stay after school today to retake this quiz in my Forces class. The stupid teacher seems to like to get after you for every assignment you effing miss. That really pisses me off. She's getting worked up over nothing. Also, I had to wait an hour for my mom to pick me up as that's the earliest she could.

I was so sure today was going to be a snowday. I at least want one more before spring comes. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Saturday, February 19, 2005 . 2/19/2005

I saw the movie Saw lastnight, and I LOVED it. That jigsaw murderer guy thinks like I do. Or I think like he does. And he is smart. This leads me to wondering what I really will be when I grow up...

I especially loved the murderer's voice, and parts when he (or his assistant) appeared as a hooded and cloaked man, and everyone knows I just love hooded and cloaked men.. Oh yes.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Thursday, February 17, 2005 . 2/17/2005

You're a Slytherdor! You are a natural leader and
have the personality to back it up. Often
people are hesitant to approach you because
they feel that you will reject them. You have a
bit of a temper but most of the time you're
able to keep it in check; however when you are
really pissed off, people better watch out. In
your life you have a lot of things you want to
accomplish, whether it's for yourself or
another cause. You can be determined in trying
to pursue this goal but your morals are too
steady to allow you to be absolutely ruthless.
You don't let many people know this, but you
actually like the idea of chivalry (but you try
to keep this buried) and you try to live your
life with honor. You don't back away from tough
decisions. Your weakness is that sometimes you
can be arrogant, you forget about the 'lesser
people' and this leads you to underestimate
your opponents. With the charisma of a
Gryffindor and the ambition of a Slytherin you
can be great in life!


Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses are You?
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005 . 2/16/2005

I was supposed to go to a Keane concert with my mom, but I have cramps and feel like poop. I hope her friend will go with her.. I don't want her to go alone.

Anyway, I took another quiz on Quizilla.


The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creative
wonder. Always calm and collected, you hold the
awe of many people and you are exceptionally
logical. You are an inspirational beauty.


Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!) NEW PICS!
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005 . 2/15/2005

There's this wicca-ish store that just opened up not too long ago I should think.. and I like it. Not that big, but the town isn't that big either. My dad got me this dragon candle holder for v-day that you can put stuff in.. it's cool, and there were other nice dragon things there, even powdered dragon's blood. I should take a pic of that dragon candle holder..

I also got a variety of roses and this white gorrilla thing that whistles and then says "I love you" twice when you squeeze it. 1 Comments - Post/view comments

Monday, February 14, 2005 . 2/14/2005

My dad has now blocked all things having to do with the occult, which is stupid. I mention one thing about satan, that he is not evil and that it is just all superstition, and there he goes, blocking things. My Paranormal Phenomena site on about.com is blocked also, and that has nothing on it but wicca, which don't worship satan and most don't even believe in him. But both follow pretty much the same rule: Becoming a god/godess. Is there anything wrong with that? No. 2 Comments - Post/view comments

Saturday, February 12, 2005 . 2/12/2005

I GET THIS WEEK OFF WO0O0O. I hope it lasts long. Anyway...

The people on neopets are really starting to irritate me. There's people who claim they are vampires, werewolves, demons, etc. There's people who think they are such hardcore "goth", and don't even know what a real goth is (as goth is short for visigoth obviously). But, I have made at least 4 or 5 neofriends who argue at my side, which is good. But there are just so many idiots.. and like their opinions and stupidity will change. I don't even know WHY I went back on neopets aside from the fact of creating petpages.. content for them anyway.. which I barely even do anymore. One reason, though, that I can agree with, is just the urge to tell people on those boards that they are not evil, that satan is not evil, that the fact of them being some supernatural being is only in their heads, whether it be lying or some other reason. I just feel like telling people that satan is not evil, is what I was meant to do. Typing that here and now makes me think I am just some stupid gullable person, but I know that I have always known what was true and what was false, even when I was little and was told to worship jesus. It was just in the back of my head. As I got older I started to think more, moreso than the normal person, I think, as I am alone often, or most of the time. I just know when something is true. Even if there is one little thing in a book that is false, I can tell, if I just go over the information in my head and reason. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, February 09, 2005 . 2/09/2005

I just got a mini history lesson on the NeoBoards O.O Visigoths were the orignal, just plain goths are the modern. Things make more sense now. 0 Comments - Post/view comments TODAY IS A SNOW DAY O.O Its just very slippery outside mhm. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Tuesday, February 08, 2005 . 2/08/2005

Today also went by amazingly slow. I am hungry, I feel terrible, and all I know is, is that I feel more depressed when I'm at school than anything. It's awful, and I wish my parents could understand it, but they fucking don't. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Taken from joyofsatan.com; !!PLEASE READ!!

"OCCULT CRIMES"
This morning* on CNN news, the anchorwoman reported that certain animal shelters no longer offer black cats for adoption two weeks before Halloween, as several have been found dead, after being used in "Satanic" sacrifices. This is few and far in-between and the media sensationalizes whatever they can.

There are many kids and teens out there looking for Satan. Due to the suppression of books, media and literature that provide knowledge about true Satanism, people look to what is easily and readily available. Anton LaVey wrote about this in his last book “Satan Speaks." He complained justifiably that he was given little or no airtime in contrast to xians who were given prime slots and endless time to spew forth their lies and babble. As a result, some people, especially the naive youth, turn to and believe what they see and are able to purchase.

The misinformation about Satanism, authored by fools who have no real knowledge or information is prolific. These xian, new age and out to make a fast buck writers are the ones DIRECTLY responsible for the occult crimes and should be the ones who are brought to justice for lies, negligence and slander against our religion and corrupting the youth.

Those of us who are close to Satan know how ludicrous these acts are and that they have nothing whatsoever to do with true Satanism. The same can be said for the old grimiores and their insane teachings concerning Demons. We know different by EXPERIENCE.

Because the media, publishers and book outlets, have suppressed true Satanism, many are left with the false teachings that are easily and readily available. For those of us who wish to give something back to Father Satan, as I have said many times, flood the internet. It works. Link up. Recruit the youth; they are our future! Kids and teens with knowledge are the leaders who influence the rest. We need to turn up the volume. For far too long, xians and the enemies of Satan have been given free reign to speak for him and represent Satanism according to their own warped, distorted, sick and perverted standards and have profited well in doing this.

Many books in the new age/occult sections of bookstores promoting lies and misinformation are cheap and readily available. A blatant example is "The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Spells and Magic." For $9.95, this book goes into detail about "making a pact with the Devil" and how this requires "drinking the blood of murdered children," human sacrifice, mutilating and torturing animals and every other ugly thing. Unfortunately, books like this are all over the place and the scum who write and promote this sick garbage should be heavily cursed. This is where our religion has gotten a bad rap. FROM LIES! The xian “god” and nazarene are the fathers of lies. In every catholic mass, the priest says "eat my body; drink my blood" This is where this kind of misinformation originates.

The enemy takes hold of those who are lacking in knowledge and then Satan is blamed. We must put a stop to this. The internet is open for us now. It would be wonderful if anyone who has access to marketing and publishing would help to put true Satanism in the bookstores, libraries and in the media.

-High Priestess Maxine Dietrich

*This was written a while ago, not this day.
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Monday, February 07, 2005 . 2/07/2005

Today seemed to go by SO SLOW. I think we should only go to school 5 hours. It just seems right then..

My hair is getting long. It's about in the middle of my back now :)) I shall keep growing it out a bit longer. 2 Comments - Post/view comments

Sunday, February 06, 2005 . 2/06/2005

I just saw The Grudge, and it's a piece of shit. Just like Boogeyman, all it was was little scenes put together with startling moments and no real plot or story to it. That Ghost Pictures or whatever company is just a big humongous pile of poop. They make cheap ass movies. Why the hell don't they spend their money on a movie that's actually GOOD? I swear, people just don't know how to make a good movie anymore. And I was right about The Grudge just being a lot of "gothy" people walking around. I don't think dead people have black eyeliner on, etc. What a shit movie. I just can't say that enough. 0 Comments - Post/view comments We went to go see Boogeyman lastnight, and it was stupid. It's a movie made to startle you, not to frighten. That was a big disapointment. After that we went to Target and I got an LOTR computer game, The Battle for Middle-Earth. You can actually choose which side you're on. It's more of a game for people who are obsessed with LOTR, but it's still fun, and challenging. I also got The Grudge, but it looks more like a movie where a bunch of "gothy" people run around.. but I could, and I hope, I am wrong. 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Friday, February 04, 2005 . 2/04/2005

I have tried playing Neopets again, signing up with a new account. I got bored, okay? And after going through the sites people made for their "pet", and remembering past sites I did, it got me thinking.. how can I put this.. that it's gay. Or lame, if you prefer. But I do admit that it is fun having an imaginary pet and taking care of it, but the most fun of it all was the site making. I am just too lazy for it now.. or maybe I have grown out of it. Either way, I still see Neopets as a site for preps, etc. But when I think back to when I used to LOVE it, and took so much care and time into my neopet and its site, makes me think of how.. cute I was. So innocent. Now I'm all judgemental, and the worst part is, I can't help it, no matter how hard I try; no matter what meds I take. Sometimes I see this as a blessing, because I think I have more common sense then everyone else, but at other times, it just gives me a headache. I have TOO MANY opinions and I want to let everyone know how I feel. I guess it is a blessing and a curse. 1 Comments - Post/view comments This is just a thought I've been having: Unlike stupid motherfucking christians who do not know anything, I would never force anyone to convert to Satanism. I'd just present the truth, and I'd leave the decision up to them. If they resign, well, then that's their loss.

I was thinking this because I was thinking of putting up papers in the bathroom about the truth to all those jesus people out there. Most likely, if I did that, it'd resault unto this huge fight and maybe even a shooting. Lmfao, how sad. And the "good" christians are against this kind of violence, aren't they? And they need to respect new ideas, expecially when they are not just ideas, but facts. 0 Comments - Post/view comments We didn't go to see Boogeyman. We will tomorrow though, and I can't wait. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Today seemed to go by fast, yet amazingly slow. It seems I am home much later than I should be. And my hair is a frizzy piece of shit today. Not that frizzy, but still. It's crap. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I took a shower, and I feel much better now. And we most likely will go out to eat today, and maybe even go to see Boogeyman =)) 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Thursday, February 03, 2005 . 2/03/2005

Random thought here. The music at the beginning of Stephen King's Riding the Bullet is sexy. Especially when they say "tell it to me slowly". 0 Comments - Post/view comments For some reason I am constantly feeling hungry. This is what is making me feel sick, I think. I also feel as if I might cry. I feel a lump in my throat, and it hurts. I am crying inside; out of joy or sorrow I cannot tell. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Taken from here

"EVIL"

There are people who talk the talk and want to play at being "bad" and "evil." These people are intent on going on about how "evil" Satan is, yet they don't know him. Their ideas of so-called evil are nothing more than cultural concepts. Few really have understanding of the meaning of the word and are simplistic in their thinking. Satan transcends "good" and "evil."

These individuals firmly adhere to the xian teachings concerning Satan. Deep down, they are really xians, not Satanists, as they follow the teachings of xianity. They rigidly live their lives according to their own specific cultural taboos. True Satanism is freedom, not living according to the restrictions of the xian teachings of what is supposed to be evil. They lack perspective and understanding. What is perceived as “evil” in one culture may be considered favorable in another.

Satanism is deep, transforming spirituality that transcends the human concepts of good and evil. People who are hung up on Halloween, the boogey man, corpses and monsters have no understanding of Satan or true Satanism.

In order to be free, one must deprogram one’s self. Only when one is able to see through one’s own eyes, can one ascend to a higher level of understanding. Too many people are still carrying around the values society has programmed into them rather than seeing things through their own eyes.

When we give our souls to Satan (for those of us who choose to do this), a door is opened. It is a major step beyond the conformity that has been heaped upon us by society. This is where we transcend the black and white simplistic thinking and begin to see things through our own eyes.

-High Priestess Maxine Dietrich

-----
Very well said. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I got to stay home today because I haven't really been feeling well. It seems that I am luckier now, especially since I got like three E's on my reportcard, and considering this, I get to stay home still... Yes, it's lucky.

Also, lastnight I had an odd dream. First I was just going to the Keane concert, but then, I found out I had to sing aswell, infront of everyone. But as soon as I started singing, it ended fast, like when you sleep, the night goes by fast. It was really weird... 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 . 2/02/2005

I just got Jessi the dragon, and later I might ask my dad for one more favor: a gryffe for Boses.

What's weird is that today I have been nervous/anxious too. And I felt as if I was going to throw up, and I still feel this way a bit. Odd... 0 Comments - Post/view comments

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 . 2/01/2005

I cannot explain the happiness I feel now. I have just offered someone a dragon that my dad shall pay for tomorrow. Normally I'd be all uptight and say BUY YOUR OWN. It's so odd.. I guess you could say I've been found, but not by this "jesus". :) 0 Comments - Post/view comments For some reason I've been nervous or anxious all day. Maybe it's the fact that I missed school yesturday and I wouldn't know what to do in computer class the next day... I don't know. It's weird. And I'm still a bit anxious. 0 Comments - Post/view comments