Monday, July 31, 2006 . 7/31/2006
Taking your pills after a full week without them is such a bad idea.. I feel so hopeless right now and depressed, and the idea of roleplaying on Horizons just seems stupid to me now. I tried to continue reading one of my books, History of Magic, but I kept thinking to myself, why bother? What's the point? You learn all these things and you die. You give people your opinions and most don't give a damn, and humanity continues on being as stupid as ever, killing themseleves slowly without even realising it.In other words, my brain is even more fucked up than it was. But it'll pass.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments People really suck. I was browsing Ogrish.com and noticed quite a few animal cruelty cases.. but there were equally as many videos of animals killing humans so it's all good. Why on earth would you want to kill an innocent animal that is just behaving off of instincts? Or cage an animal up for the circus? People have fucked this world up so much it's insane. I wonder if I'll be around when the human race dies out, because if I get to see that day, I'll be laughing my ass off.
I really would like to end animal cruelty. If blacks have gotten freedom and women the right to vote, then why not? I would like to see people who torture/kill animals for no reason beheaded, although that punishment most likely won't get through. A death sentence on the worst of cases is enought to make me happy. In ancient Egypt, the penalty was death if you killed or tortured a cat. I like the ancient Egyptians. =)
Anyway, I haven't taken my pills in a little over a week now, but I took them yesturday and then some more today. Whenever I don't take my pills I am more apt to getting headaches, being insanely happy so much so that it's annoying even to myself, and anxious. When I take the pills I get more serious and less tolerent of jokes. I hate this.. it's like I'm insane..
I remember as summer vacation neared, I was thinking to myself that I'd get out more; go jogging with my mom, swim, that sort of thing.. it was like I was thinking "this summer I am coming out of the darkness and into the light.. I am going to end this social anxiety and I am going to be normal". But you know what? Normal is boring. I find myself cringing at all those idiots who are just so happy all the time, get tans, etc.. yet deep down I wanted to be that way. But now I know that it's impossible, and even if it wasn't I'm not going to change now. I can't not look at a happy person on most days and feel annoyed, or hear people going "it's such a beautiful day outside". How the hell can you see in the sunshine anyway? It's blinding. Now some may ask if I prefer to wallow in my own self-pity. No, I don't. I wish I didn't have this social anxiety and I wish I had friends. I'm descent looking, I can promise you, and this anxiety.. I shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't have social anxiety. Having friends and going out at night would be great, but no, I have to have this mental illness.. and believe me, I've tried to get rid of it. There is no way to. Constantly thinking of what others think of you.. you can't help it! Yet many times I want to be seen.. to let the world know I exist. My day will come. Yes, it will.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Monday, July 24, 2006 . 7/24/2006
I've been remaking Draemora's history to something that is a bit more interesting..I. Prologue
II. Blood of the Disrespectful
III. Ashes from Oblivion
IV. Deep Red Rose (in progress)
Greetings, Reader. I am here to tell you of a great, ancient dragon, that I have known nearly all my life and that has known me for twice as long. This dragon is no ordinary dragon (but then again, what character ever is in these kinds of stories?). No, she was.. shall I say, something special. But before I get into that, I must first tell you a brief history of Istaria, and of myself.
Istaria is another plane of existance, one that some are lucky (or unlucky) enough to go to when their last breath passes. Whether or not you go to Istaria after you die is decided by the gods at birth. People who pass on to this plane are known as the Gifted. They have attained a special power to not really die, but rather to be given another life. Many enter this life as other beings based on the personality of their spirit.
I died not so long ago, but have been in this world of Istaria long enough to know that an enemy plagues this place. This enemy is known as the Withered Aegis, and it seeks to destroy Istaria and all the Living races that inhabit it.
When I was alive I was a simple person in a simple world. I would travel and make a living off of what I could. However, there was something not so simple about me, something many ignorant people (and there were many) overlooked: I conjured spirits, and occasionally practiced necromancy.
One day while I was in the vast libraries of my city, I discovered an ancient tome, and in it the names of powerful spirits that held secrets, knowledge, and power. One in particular caught my attention: Draemora Aloysius.
I borrowed this massive book, as it contained the incantations I would need to summon this beast. Only three items were needed to enforce the summoning (besides a pentacle and the usual incense): Blood of the disrespectful, ashes from Oblivion, and a deep red rose. The ritual was to be done in a large, dark area with red candles, preferably a dungeon.
I will never forget that moment when this powerful creature was summoned. First, it became bitter cold, and then hot, and then cold again. Red-hot flames danced around my pentacle and the pentacle where Draemora would appear. The candles dimmed and then became more blood-red than ever. Finally, it happened: she materialized. She was at first outlined by flame, and with her came a strange scent of death and blood and roses. A loud, thundering growl, and then she was there in all her glory.
This dragon was blood-red with black markings, and eerie green highlights. She was gigantic, being easily as big as several elephants stacked atop eachother. I will never forget those huge teeth, cruel eyes.. and those six very large horns on her head. I was in awe, and just the thought of this moment makes me remain in awe to this day.
I do not remember much of what she said at first, the moment of seeing this beast was so intense. I do remember she said she lives in a place that is full with fire, lava, and ash.. and that there were many others of her kind. Listening to her took away many years of what was left of my life, and to this day I do not know how that happened.
Draemora. A strange name for a strange beast.
Her life started many, many years ago, so far off that not even the greatest spinners of tales can remember. But one did, and her name was Vrae. She was an It, really, as the Sslik, an odd reptilian race, have no actual gender, but she looks more feminine and so is called a she.
The reason that this Sslik remembers such things is because Draemora told her. That is, of course, a great way to gain information of her life, but this dragoness did not give away the tales of her history easily. Instead, there had to be a great bond. And there was.
Vrae, of course, happened upon an ancient tome many years ago containing lists of spirits and entities of note. Why this particular spirit, Draemora Aloysius, interested her more than the rest was simple: she was an ancient spirit already, she was a warrior, and she was cruel.
Cruel to her enemies, at least. In her very brief and vague history that was given in this tome, it was stated that Draemora was of the Lunus faction. This was a faction of dragons that did not care for the bipedal races much, and they preferred using their claws over spells in combat. Of course, each dragon is different in their own special way, and so Draemora had her own set of quirks.
For one thing, she adored the Saris race. She always has held a special place in her hard, cold heart for these adorable, catlike bipedal creatures, and she would do anything to protect them.
As for another, this dragon would eat her own kind. But not blindly like some monster, oh, no. Draemora was better than that. Sometimes, when not raised right (or not raised at all), a hatchling would become disrespectful of its elders. When, on the rare occasion that this happened, the mighty ancient dragoness would give the little beast a warning, and if that did not work, would unhinge her jaws like a snake and swallow the poor excuse for a dragon whole. It was said that Draemora knew the scent of disrespectfulness by cutting the victim with one of her many horns, and smelling its blood.
This is why blood of the disrespectful is needed to summon this awesome beast.
This ancient dragoness has had quite an odd history. She lives in a place of ashes and flame, and was born in a place of ashes and flame, though these places are seperate.
The plain of Oblivion is very similar to that of Dralk. They both have lava, fire, ash, and smoke. Oblivion has seperate realms of its own, ruled by the different Daedric (or demonic) lords.
Draemora's black egg was found lying around somewhere near one of Oblivion's many cathedrals, in Lord Dagon's plane of Oblivion. Lord Dagon had (and still does have) many followers which are referred to as the dremora. These are demonic-looking people who have horns, red and black skin, and a special kind of armor. One of these dremora found the egg and brought it inside the cathedral, asking his fellow kind what should be done.
Why, it's a gift from Lord Dagon! one said. The egg must be placed in lava in order for it to hatch. Dragons in this realm are rare, and are a sign from Him!
And so it was. Draemora's egg was placed in lava, and after nearly fifty years finally hatched. What was revealed both pleased Dagon and his followers, and held them in awe.
She was small at the time of course. She had six horns arranged on her head like a crown, she was red and black like the dremora, and she was serpentine. Most of all, the texture of her scales was like that of Daedric armor: hard and very, very tough.
Days passed. The hatchling was treated as a queen and was dubbed Draemora Aloysius, a name derived from the creatures of Oblivion, the Daedra, and the dremora peoples themselves. Aloysius meant roughly 'noble warrior' in their tongue.
It was not long before Draemora was contacted by Lord Dagoth telepathically. He said that she must go to the plain of Istaria, learn to be a true dragon, to establish herself there, and to rid of the enemy that had plagued them for centuries: the Withered Aegis. This enemy also threatened the plain of Oblivion, though Draemora did not know how at the time.
So she was sent there at a very young age, learning the ways of true dragons and growing stronger. She had become a dangerous foe to the Withered Aegis.
This, my friends, is why ashes from Oblivion are needed to summon this ancient dragon. Part of her essence is still in this plain, helping Lord Dagon guard the fiery place. One would have to summon a dremora in order to receive the ashes.
More coming soon. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Saturday, July 15, 2006 . 7/15/2006
I decided I wanted to go somewhere today. I was excited. So my parents and I went to Target. My mom didn't need anything there, but I wanted to look at the computer games. Nothing. Then my mom goes to get eye make-up remover, and we go to the checkout line with only that. I remember when I was walking down an aisle this cute guy was walking, his arms folded like mine were. We looked away and kept moving. On the way to the car my dad goes, "well that was exciting", and my mom went "I'm sure Borders will be really exciting too". I had a feeling they were making fun of me. It was hot out too so I was getting really irritated, which made it worse.On the way to Borders I was looking in other cars, and you know what I saw? Friends. So I asked to go home and here I am now. All the way home I silently cried.
I hate my life so much. In my situation I should be thinking that I'm going to be alone forever, but somehow.. I know I won't. My life will begin someday, it must.
Sometimes I think about going back to regular school instead of the option of online school. But I'll be depressed there too. Seeing all these friends, these couples.. I don't know if I can handle it again. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Friday, July 14, 2006 . 7/14/2006
I don't feel like typing a whole lot anymore, as I already did an hour or so ago. So, I will give a link to sum it all up.Basically, it's about how Bethesda is scamming people for their money by charging for stupid mods that add nothing spectacular and break immersion. This should be illegal. These people payed for the game already, like $50 or so, and yes, this includes me. Give us the whole game, not little bits and peices! Like a poster in the forum said, pretty soon they'll be selling TES games as just the main quest and have us pay for the rest. I don't doubt that could happen. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I hate people so much. They are discusting. Just take a look at the world now, and you'll see.. the cutting down of forests, poachers, the sheer size of the population.. it sickens me. I hate it when there's a nice empty space of land, only to have it have construction shit on it and upturned dirt a few years later. There's enough houses out there already, too many people.. quit encouraging them to reproduce! Within another few hundred years, maybe less, there won't be anymore space to put houses. Or garbage. And we are invading animals' territory, and then farmers complain about bear attacks. What the fuck do they expect? They were there first!
Poaching.. uhg, this deserves a death penalty. People don't realise that without animals, we wouldn't be here. There are millions of other ways to make money, so why kill animals for it? Now it's different with deer hunting. As long as you're hunting an animal for food, or you intend to make leftover parts useful, I believe it's alright. Animals do this all the time in the wild. But do you see them killing off other animals just for the fun of it? Unless it's rabid, of course. So I guess that means humans are rabid.
There are way too many people. WAY TOO MANY. Too much resources are being used up. I'm not a hippy or anything, but people really need to wake up and realise they are killing themselves by killing the world.
I personally think if people want to eat meat, they should kill their own chickens or cows. This way they'll come to realise an actual, living and breathing animal is being killed in order for a human cow to pig out on a big-mouth burger. Now, I'm not a vegetarian, and I only eat meat every once in awhile. Besides, there are flaws with this idea. Not everyone can own chickens and cows. Like in the city for example. A way around this would be to have a slaughter house near a fastfood place, so they can whitness how their food is made, at every step. This would also be a problem though. It would stink, and the greedy people over at the fastfood restraunts would complain about not getting much service. Besides this, it takes awhile to take off meat from an animal.
Another thing I've been thinking about is how people murder other people. I personally could care less about this. Wild animals have natural predators, but humans, the lazy people that they are and staying tucked away inside houses, has none. So the only other option is murder. Without murderers, the population would be even worse than it is now.
People have weakened themseleves over the centuries. We went from strong people to weak ones. You need only view our ancient ancestors to see this. Their heads and bones were larger than ours are now. We are weakening ourseleves by shutting out the natural world, living in luxury, to some degree or another.
Of course, it is much to late to change all of this now. The preservation of animals is becoming more popular now, but as for the population.. unless aliens invaded and wiped out millions of people, that's not gonna change.
Now don't get me wrong, I love living in a nice house. I hate being dirty. These were just things I was pondering over.
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I love showers. Taking one relaxes me so much. I'm in there for a good half-hour or more. But the thing is, after only a couple hours after showering, I start to feel dirty again. I can't stand it. I wonder if anyone else feels this way.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 . 7/12/2006
I was watching this show on Dragons on the History Channel: Quest for Dragons. It got me thinking. First, I'm going to type down some theories that were stated in the show, and then state the ones I agree with.First, as most of us know, dragons have been seen in almost every culture around the world. Why this is could be based a variety of reasons, and they are:
- Dragons really were real
- Fossils were discovered and they were thought to be dragons
- The environment
- The idea of Dragons is embedded in our brains
Let's focus on the first one listed: Dragons really were real. This could be completely possible in my mind. Looking at fossils of dinosaurs and comparing them to dragons is nearly uncanny save for the wings. Even a small reptilian animal with batlike wings to exist would be possible, and I personally find it to be odd that we have not yet found any record of such a creature. The explanation for why we find no dragon fossils? Perhaps their fiery nature takes over after they die, and the skeleton disintegrates. Or, we aren't looking in the right places, or they are buried deeper than most paleontologists care to dig.
The second, fossils were discovered and thought to be dragons, is even moreso possible than the above. As I mentioned already, dinosaurs and dragons have an uncanny resemblence despite the lack of wings on the dinosaurs' part. Early people could have found these, thought the animal was still existant.. since, to early people ancient times and times past was quite unimaginable. So they thought the creature still lived. Furthermore, the footprints of such creatures could have fueled their imagination. Over time, sand becomes sandstone, and it's possible early people didn't know this, thought the footprints were recent, and wondered what kind of animal could be so strong to be able to leave footprints in solid stone. They probably also could have recontstructed the skeletons the wrong way, leaving extra bones as wings. Pteridacyls ( pardon the spelling ) could have also played a part in dragons' existance to us humans. But, this prehistoric creature has no 'fingers' on its wings, save for one, whereas many people have described dragons, unlike the prehistoric creature, having "fingered" wings.
The environment: A mountain or hill in the distance could be mistaken for a sleeping dragon. In bogs, chemical reactions would cause fire to rise, the explanation unknown to early peoples. Volcanos could have been thought to be dragon's lairs, and the smoke coming from it would be thought to be the dragon breathing. Whirlpools were a strange phenomenon, and serpent-like sea monsters would be an explantion of how they are caused.
As to the last one, that the idea of dragons is embedded in our brains, would come very early man's fear of natural predators, the prime ones being the large cat, large birds, and snakes. These animals eventually merged themseleves together in early man's minds: The teeth of a large cat, the talons of a bird, and the body or neck of a snake forms a dragon.
Which do I personally believe? The environment factor is a very good explanation, and then again it's possible dragons really were flesh and blood. Maybe it's a combination of both. The idea that dragons are embedded in our brains I don't really agree with. When you think about it.. all these cultures with absolutely no contact with eachother can come up with such a similar creature, you'd think there has to be an actual creature of some sort. It's a mystery. 0 Comments - Post/view comments Here's yet another version of "What the People at Hogwarts Think of You". I just couldn't resist, and if whoever is reading this hates quizes or Harry Potter.. that's just too bad.
Harry - Possibly hates you more than he hates Malfoy and thinks you're a cold hearted biotch.
Ron - Has a secret crush on you. He loves how mean and cruel you can be, although he'd never admit it.
Draco - Considers you his equal and most likely wishes to marry you and bear him children. He loves how wicked you can be and is TOTALLY obsessed with you, he worships the ground you walk on.
Fred and George - Think you're a bit too stuck up for your own good, but would definately consider snogging you.
Flint - Is utterly terrified of you, your domineering nature and arrogance is a bit too much for him. If he weren't so scared he'd have screwed you by now.
Blaise - Loves the way you opearate and is probably the only person who can tolerate you. If Draco wasn't utterly consumed with you he'd have asked you to marry him by now.
Neville - Craps his pants when he hears your name.
Semus - Thinks you're wicked but beautiful.
Dean - Avoids you mostly, but has a bit of a crush on you.
Crabbe and Goyle - Follow your every command, but hate that you're even meaner than Draco at times.
Hermione - Loathes you even more than Harry and can't wait till you get expelled.
Ginny - Envies how you get whatever you want with a snap of your fingers.
Pansy - Secretly loathes you because you have Draco at your beck and call, but would never admit it because she's scared of you.
Cho: Likes your style and wishes you two were friends.
Dumbledore - Quite worried you will join up with the Dark Lord, and is slightly frightened by you himself.
McGonagal - Thinks you're a bit too into yourself and doesn't like how you act above everyone.
Hagrid - Passes you all the time, he doesn't want to deal with you when you get mad.
Snape - You are the apple of his eye. He adores you and your attitude and makes sure he shows it.
Trelawney - Thinks you're gifted as a seer, but makes it known your aura is a bit too dark
House - Slytherin
Boyfriend - Draco Malfoy
Best Friend - Blaise
Reputation - Ice Queen
Take this quiz!
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 . 7/11/2006
I remember this from Wife Swap, and that was the only episode of the show I ever saw. I saw a commercial of it and I said, "Oh, I HAVE to see that one!". It was both very amusing and very fucking irritating at the same time. I felt like blowing her small little gap-toothed head off and shoving it up her abnormally large ass. Speaking with her would obviously do no good, that's for sure. I'd love so much to give her actual historical facts on these things.. where the hell does she get the idea that astrology is "ungodly"? If her god made the stars and the universe, shouldn't studying it be godly? Also, with what she said about gargoyles being "dark-sided".. no, that is completely opposite. Gargoyles were originally put around castles and such to ward off evil.I hate closed-minded people like this so much. Infact, if I was able to talk to this lady, I wouldn't even know where to start. You can see her kids are really scared of her. She appears to be the truly evil one to me.
Thankfully I never met a Christian this bad. If I have, I would most likely be in jail for murder. The one thing the world does not need is more closed-minded fools. The majority of the human population is stupid enough as it is.
On a brighter note, here are some videos I found on LeakingPen.com I found to be cute/funny:
Talking Cats
Freaky Feline
Tiny Kitten gets Combed
REALLY Cute Kitten
Cats Watching Tennis
Clucking Cat
And now for the non-kitty ones:
Dancing Cutie
Creepy Bike Safety Video
Learn English While Working Out
Oblivion-related on YouTube:
Chuck Norris in Oblivion
Funny Glitch
Grandma Plays Oblivion
Numa Numa:Oblivion
Dumb Temple Bug
Hilarity Bug
Skooma Addict Bug
That's it. =) 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006 . 7/08/2006
Alright, well early this morning I got my dad to take my cat to the vet ( his name is Doots and his brother is Pie ). He said the vet wasn't open on Saturdays which I thought was really weird, and he must be wrong. And he was. Luckily when called there was a cancellation the same day so he got to take him in.He has this cyst in the back of his mouth, and the vet thought it might be leukimia, tested for that, negative, and he tested negative for other things aswell. So we don't know exactly what caused it, but the cyst is treatable with medication and pain releivers once a day. I am so glad he's okay. =) 0 Comments - Post/view comments Just a silly quiz I took:
Harry: Hates You and Your Death Eater BLOOD!
Ginny:Can't stand to look at you!
Draco: You are the love of his life and he wants to marry you and have your children!
Ron: Is REALLY REALLY REALLY scared of YOU!
Dean Seamus:Thinks you're pretty,but have a black heart!
Pansy: Worships you, and the ground you walk on!
Hermione: Hates you ever since you made a song about how she is a "Filthy, little, MUDBLOOD!
Take this quiz!
Another version:
Ron wants you to roll your skirt up a bit higher.
Neville thinks you're right up there with Snape.
Draco would like to do you. Very much. He love you long time!
Crabbe & Goyle think you're way too good for them.
Hermoine thinks you can be extremely arrogant.
Ginny thinks you have a very bad temper, and you put her and her red hair to shame.
Luna would love it if you gave her her earrings back...
Cho thinks you're horrible. She believes you have a Dark Mark(but you don't).
Pansy hates you because Draco likes you.
Dumbledore wishes you'd stop grafiti-ing the castle.
Snape wants to hump you (ROFL).
McGonagall always tries to take points off your house.
Flitwick wishes he were taller so he could see your boobs (creepy..).
Sprout doesn't like you.
Hagrid would like to feed you to a chimeara because you "hang with a bad crowd."
Dobby practically craps himself everytime you look at him, he's that scared of you.
Buckbeak wants to fly far, far away from you, because, like Dobby, he is extremely scared of you.
Take this quiz!
Friday, July 07, 2006 . 7/07/2006
Today when my parents came home, I was back in bed and I was starving. So I told my mom I was really hungry before she left with my dad to go out to dinner (as they do every Friday). I couldn't think of anything I wanted to eat even though I was hungry, so I just said I wanted lasagna. She made it for me, then left a few minutes later. I tried to eat it but I couldn't. So I had some Tostitos chips instead, and that made me full. Sad, I know, but at least I didn't starve.Before they left, my dad was being an idiot and standing in my doorway to annoy me. I told him to go away, and then said 'what the hell' to myself. He said 'quit it with the language'. Umm.. hell is a bad word? Oh yeah, I guess if you were raised as a Christian it is. Speaking of being raised by Christians, even though my parents don't go to church they're still being stupid, especially my dad.I wanted to buy The Omen and he said it was trash, but bought it anyway because I kept staring at him. He also uses this 'safety' thing that blocks out sex education. I don't get that. Is he honestly so stupid as to think I don't know about that stuff already anyway? He myswell come barging into a sex ed. class and take me out of there. And if I didn't know about it, I would want to be prepared for what might happen! Besides, it's human nature to be curious about that kind of thing. My dad used to block out occult/cult things too, but then I explained to him that Christianity isn't so different from a cult. 'Occult' simply and literally means 'the hidden'. A cult is a group of religous people of some sort who go by very strict rules. Basically, no open-mindedness or individuality is allowed. As you can see, they are two very different things.
My cat is having trouble eating.. every summer his face gets scratched up, and this summer is no different. Of course he likes to go outside, so that would be why. His face is getting better now, he got this scab on his paw, and he has a cut or something on his lip that's keeping him from really eating anything. I tried to look inside his mouth, but being a cat he wouldn't stay still. My dad is going to see how he is on Monday before taking him to the vet to make sure he's ok.
I love 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'. It's so funny, and many times I think to myself that I could be up there, on that stage and making people laugh. But then I think how nervous and weird I would get. I know social anxiety would take over. 0 Comments - Post/view comments I love early mornings. They're nice and cool, misty, and easy on the eyes. I don't get, and probably never will, why people seem to just love sunny afternoons. It's too sunny to even see the world properly, it blinds you! Gloomy days are much more pretty. Easy on the eyes, the sun isn't blinding you from seeing the world. Now most people would probably say, "But gloomy days are depressing!". Sunny days are depressing. I can't see anything outside because of the blinding sun, and the heat.. my god, the heat! I think people who can stand sunny days are dememented. There are only a few sane ones out there.
Speaking about dememented, let's speak of how demented Christianity is. I've discussed this in other posts, but I've been thinking about it again lately, so I'll write about it again.
First off, this religion is rather modern compared to others. Before Christianity, things were good. Pagans went on worshipping nature, spirits were believed to be good. But then Christianity came and perversed everything. They said all religions but theirs was evil. They proclaimed the pentagram, used for good purposes, was "the sign of the devil". The old word for spirit, demone (literally meaning 'neutral spirit'), was translated to its modern, english word demon, and Christians proclaimed them to be evil beings. To me, this is absolutely discusting. This religion perversed absolutely everything, and even borrowed some beliefs from other religions, claiming them as their own.
Of course, along with this religion came an equally annoying group: the emo/goth/poser crowd. The ones who claim to be Satanists but in reality have no clue what true Satanism is.
There was a reason that the Dark Ages were called just that: Because of Christians. They tortured anyone they believed to not be of their religion, people just minding their own business. Apparently, anything that is different is 'the devil' or 'evil'. And yet, so many Christians out there these days have no clue. Or maybe they do, I don't know. All I can say is that Christianity is the real evil here. They made, and still do make, everything that is different 'evil'. It's discusting, it's horrible, it's wrong, and it's a plague. They could have made it a peaceful religion, but didn't. If their 'God' truly speaks to these people, and says what they are doing is good, then that is one fucking perverted god. It sickens me how a majority of the population can be such closed-minded fools.
Now, all this doesn't mean I can't be friends with Christians. That would be foolish on my part. Just don't speak to me about your god, and don't try to convert me. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Thursday, July 06, 2006 . 7/06/2006
I don't mean to be all emo or anything, but I've been feeling rather lonely lately. Mainly, as I've stated in earlier posts, about the fact that I have never had a true boyfriend in my life. And not having one now is driving me insane. Somehow inside, I KNOW the right one will come, sooner or later. There is already someone on MSN that I really like, but time can only tell if it was meant to be.Yesturday I got hungry and made macaroni & cheese.. or atleast tried too. It turned out horrible. So I was hungry for the rest of the day until my mom came home and made me lasagna. I cannot believe how helpless I am.
My life is a mess right now, but somehow I have the feeling it will turn out right. I don't know when, but I know it will. I just wish I could be happy and not lonely now. I wish my life could begin today. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
Wednesday, July 05, 2006 . 7/05/2006
I just found this new game Ubisoft is coming up with, Assassin's Creed, and it looks really nice. The assasin.. uhg, so hot. You know, a lot of times I hope that someday I might meet a guy who likes to go around hooded.. a tough guy, like a murderer or assassin. And this in turn makes me have an urge to go and kill someone secretly. I know, my mind is really messed up. I cannot take it anymore. The only thing keeping me from killing someone is the blood. I hate the sight of blood, and part of me hopes that someday I'll overcome that. If I type anything more, I'll most likely arouse suspition that I may be a future serial killer or something. I don't want anyone to think this.But, people have always thought that this was a possibilty for me. They always said, "You know, murderers are silent", or something like that, and of course I am too. "Are you going to be a murderer?" "Never trust quiet people".. and I think in my head, "Damn right". I know most people who suffer from social anxiety like I do or shyness would be horrified to think that people would think of them as murderers. But for me this isn't the case. I love it.
I've been becoming more unhealthy as of late. My sleeping schedule is irregular, though I'm mostly up at night. I'm very pale. I'm always hungry. Like right now, only I don't know what to eat.. macaroni & cheese sounds good I guess.. 0 Comments - Post/view comments
