Thursday, June 22, 2006 . 6/22/2006
This is getting so fucking old. I'm very irritated again, and whenever my parents say so much as one word I cringe. I hate it so much. Why do I always have to be so damn irritable?And then I ask my mom what she and my dad had for dinner, she says spaghetti, I ask her for some, and she goes "get it yourself, it's in the fridge". I roll my eyes and just get myself a few oreos. She's been doing this lately, telling me to get my own stuff. And I'm not used to it, because ever since I was a small child I've been waited on hand and foot. Fucking stupid mom. I expect everything to go my way, because it always has with my parents in the past. Now, I can't even get over it.
I wonder what the point of my life is. Here I am, sitting at the computer, never going out. When I do it's with my parents and I feel like such a loser, especially if it's on a Friday. I did see this one girl around my age with just her parents though, so that made me feel a bit better, but not much.
I do have a friend that I haven't been in contact with in ages, and I wish she'd call me.. she did several months ago and we were talking about stuff and planning when we could get together. Of course, her mom was bitching in the backround, and I have a feeling that she's the reason she didn't show up or call. Here I am, a friend she hasn't spoke to in ages, and her mom had take that friend away from me.
I just don't know what to do anymore. 1 Comments -
I know what influence mothers can have. Unfortunately they often don't get it that almost everything they do can relate to how you feel about yourself. My mother was negative and unsupportive. But she was clueless. She didn't know that her negativity was making me crazy. But now I am a mother. I have tried to do everything I can to give my daughter support and encouragement. But when I realize that I have fallen short I try to make up for it in negative ways - like letting go too soon after spoiling her. I could have been more gradual and kind but I didn't know how. Every mom is different. I hope that in spite of how she treats you she still loves you. Some mothers are incapable of love having never received enough of it themselves while there is a rumor out there that there are mothers who are supportive. D.
By 
, at
11:07 AM
