Saturday, October 28, 2006 . 10/28/2006

I went to the mall yesturday, and it was fun. It was pretty nerve-racking too because of all the people there, but I wanted people to notice me anyway. I tend to get uncomfortable when people look at me, yet I wanted them to. In fact, I actually when to Target after I was done with the mall, just so more people would notice me. This has made me realise that if I didn't have social anxiety I'd be an attention whore.

Other than shopping, my parents and I went to my cousins' house for dinner. I wasn't particularly hungry since I had Mcdonald's not too long ago, but I did have a few olives.

There were other people there besides my aunt, uncle and two cousins; my grandpa and grandma from my mom's side were there too, and the "family" priest and his wife. I say "family" because me and my parents don't go to church, and damn, am I proud of it.

I had lots of fun when I was there. I was talking, I was funny.. and that made me feel like somebody other than just "the quiet girl". I find it easier to talk among members of the same family, even if I haven't really met them before. I still get nervous and a bit anxious, but I'm glad that I could make people laugh, and not at me, either. Actually, among people I am comfortable with, I usually am "the funny one".

When my grandma called about going to my cousins' house, I didn't know it was about that at first. I was at the computer and heard her voice on the answering machine, and got up and ran excitedly to the phone and hoped someone had died. I replayed the message and was a bit disapointed, but not much. Some.. hell, I think anyone reading this would wonder why I was hoping for someone to have died. It's because I wanted an excuse to dress up all nice and go somewhere. Mean, I know.. but for the record, I haven't hoped anyone I liked, such as my parents, my aunt and uncle and my two cousins that I know, has died. Just people I barely know. Which is still mean. Oh well. 0 Comments - Post/view comments