Tuesday, November 14, 2006 . 11/14/2006

Today when I went to let my older dog out, she wouldn't at first.. she likes to hide underneath a desk whenever I'm home and my parents are at work. She doesn't do this when my mom and dad are home, like if say, they take a day off.

So I offered her a piece of a Ritz cracker, and she still wouldn't come out. Given that she always seems to be hungry, I didn't expect this of her. I try coaxing her out for a few more minutes and then finally gave up. After I went back to the computer, though, she came after me as if to say "I'm sorry".

Sugar - a dauchsound (sp?) - was originally meant to be my dog, but she ended up being my mom's dog instead. I remember when Sugar would curl up next to me and keep me warm, and how she would come to me if I called. She never used to get into the garbage and rarely licked the floor.. but now, she's a mess. She's been this way ever since we got rid of Marty - a puppy that was rather aggressive - and now she is a nervous wreck.

The reason she might be afraid of me is because I used to fight in the morning about going to school. I would yell, I would scream, I would lock myself in the bathroom until my parents gave up and left. But all that is in the past now, and I'm not sure if it's Sugar that isn't over that, or if it's something else.

She has Cushing's, we found out about last year.. this causes her to think she's hungry all the time, puts extra fat around her belly, and makes her want to lick. She's around nine years old now..

I remember when I first saw her in her cage with another puppy at the pet store. She had this bruise on her head due to other dogs nipping at her.. but that could have been a lie. She could have been abused by the people who worked there. I don't know. But it eventually went away, and she was so sweet. She still is, just.. more nervous. She isn't herself. It hurts my feelings that whenever I go near her she starts shaking like she's really scared. It never used to be this way.

I don't want her to die, but that's inevidable. When the day comes that we have to put her down, or when I find her just laying on the floor, or when my mom wakes me up to tell me Sugar died lastnight.. my heart will truly break. The vet said that she's expected to live another year or two. Maybe she'll surprise them by living longer. I hope so, but I wouldn't want her to suffer, either.

I imagine that when her time comes, her ghost might linger for awhile. That garbage cans will seemingly knock themselves over, that I'll feel her licking my legs. It would be comforting to know that she's alright, and will never forget us. 0 Comments - Post/view comments